Part 1: Life Purpose for the Skeptical Soul

Stop Giving Life Purpose the Side-Eye!

Life is happening FOR you, remember? 
So if life is happening FOR you, what is it happening FOR? 

A lot of folks get nervous when they hear about life purpose or they  hear that term and  their eyes might kind of glaze over. I was in that boat too. 

Here's what I've learned:

The quality of questions we ask ourselves, directly impacts how much creativity and creatorship we experience in our lives. What are your experiences awakening you to? 

It's not that a higher power is doling out life purposes etched in stone-- that would set us up for failure and who needs that? Following the popcorn trail of your desires, attractions, joys, strengths, skills, and choices can lead to a place where purpose reveals itself. Oh, and you can have more than one purpose, so don't get FOMO. 

Childlessness can impact a sense of life purpose, but make no mistake, non-parents have purpose. If anything, we are called to a more creative path to finding our life purpose because our lives don't resemble what came before us. Embrace it. 

We are here to grow, period. When you attach purpose to the direction you are growing in, you grow exponentially faster. So what are you waiting for? 

Transcript

Hello? Hello? Hello. This is Linda and welcome to another episode of ladies like us. So, lastepisode I spoke about. Just a shift in thinking a very, very valuable shift. And this is simplythis, rather than thinking about how life is happening to us or life is coming at us, what would be different if we held this idea that life is happening for us?

Like it has our back. And again, you can personalize this as much as you want. You can visualize what that feels like to you to have the, um, whether it's like the universe, uh, has my back. And it feels more like a good friend or just that life is happening for me. And following that thought, it's all with an eye towards awakened.

Awakening to ourselves, to the deeper notions of why we're here. Um, yeah. And the nature of Seoul itself. So how is life happening for me? How is life happening for you? I'm curious if you've played with that, I think we all probably dip in, in and out of consciousness, alum, high consciousness, I'll say right where we feel like we're in flow andliving life very deliberately.

And occasionally we drift, right. We drift out of that, that state that feels more enlightenedand we get into a more, a shadowy place. We might regressed back into victim thinking, um, old habits die hard, so it's not your fault, but I'm just here to remind you that, this thought that life is happening for you is available at any moment.

So hopefully you can find a way to access that, a way to remind yourself of this truth. I wanted to follow up with, today's episode, which is all about purpose. life purpose. I suppose I would call myself a life purpose coach

um, you know, I'm not an executive coach per se, yet that doesn't mean I can't coach an executive. Um, for instance, like an executive doesn't usually need help being an executive. Right. But they're a human at the end of the day. And it's usually human problems that they have while sitting in, in an executive chair.

And so. You know, there are coaches that I know that are very, woo and much more of a spiritual bent who nonetheless, coach executives. So you can see how. If, if coaching is effective and, and works or whatever mode you're looking for, right? Whether it's a different kind of work, breath, work, body work, spiritual work, um, whatever you find that works for you, as the caretaker of both your soul and your, your human.

Self your human packaging, right? Whatever mode you find, trust that you're being led to it. Um, yeah, that's all I'll say about that. Anyway.  I'm very much into health and, vitality, um, passion. And then the other thing is. For me, I think I view life is, is, just always unfolding. And so, although there are transitions to be sure, for instance, like going through a divorce.

retiring and entering a new phase of life, for instance. So I think that, transition coaching makes a lot of sense. but I think all coaching really transitions you from one mode to another. Sometimes we, we see a hard, start and stop or what have you for a certain phase in our life, especially when there's, an unasked for change.

But I think a lot of, changes happen in a more sort of sloping manner versus a cliff kind of thing. And so it's hard to necessarily, track. what you consider to be the transition. So I guess, like in a nutshell, for me, why are we here? Like, why am I navigating my life in this way?

how do I know I'm doing life, right. how do I align with my gifts? All these questions I'm really enthralled by. And I'm so curious how we navigate this from like a mental cerebral place, from a spiritual place, from an emotional space, from from the human constraints that we have, right.

Whether it's our physical body, the family we're born into our location. Yeah, you name it. Like just whatever those circumstances are that, um, may help or hinder ideas that we have about what we can achieve. All of it, I'm into all of it. So just to bring us back to. WhatI started here, about purpose.

I think a lot of people get a little nervous when they hear about life purpose or like they might hear that term and  their eyes might kind of glaze over. And I know why, um, I think I was in that boat as well. I think that. hearing that phrase, encountering these ideas I'm I might've just skipped over it.

And I think thinking back the reason was because I definitely thought that life was happening to me for one. I was trying to become a skilled sailor but just dealing with like, you know, The waves and the ocean,  that I was dealing with and not having a huge, sense that I could take the boat wherever I wanted to go, or that, there might be something in the stars that was leading me to decide where that boat should be.

or that there was a pre-ordained purpose. for me, 'cause, that's kinda what it sounds like, right? Like life purpose, like God's up there doling out life purposes to all of us and that if we fail. At our purpose. It's sort of like what happens then? I mean, not like you go to hell, like, do we fail on some level?

what are the consequences for our soul if we don't fulfill it? And so I'm just here to tell youthat. I think that's, an out dated notion. I think we all are all aware that there is a, Larger way to participate in our own purpose. there are clues along the way, for instance.

And that like, just like soulmates, right? Like we can have a lot of soulmates. I mean, I always giggle at that. Who I forget what comedian said it he's like, oh yeah, I have. 30 soulmates, and I'm trying to sleep with all of them or something. Um, but you know, we can be precocious and promiscuous when it comes to purposes, because like we can feel in towards something and it can be in alignment of, our resources or skills, our passions, um, satisfaction or.

intelligence, like all these things can align. and that's one way to apply them, but you could apply just like, towards something else. Like,  Lex Luther decided to apply his, charm and intelligence and, What is it? Mastermind, um, self to. Being a criminal, right? Like to creating criminal enterprises and schemes.

and, and he could have also been a politician. He could have been an enlightened CEO with that skill set. So again, how we apply it and what we decide is our purpose. it really is up to us, but I think it's important to recognize that. There always is a purpose. And even if it's just that you were supposed to be somewhere at the right time, to say something that affected someone.

Or maybe it was even negative. Like you did a thing and then that person reacted. But then a couple of beats later, that person decided to do something a little differently and it's ripples. Right. And that served some of their purpose eventually. So I guess in a way I'm talking about sort of small purposes as well as big purposes, but make no mistake there is.

There absolutely is a purpose. I'm not sure if I can convince you of the truth of this within the scope of this podcast, but just walk with me for, for a minute and just, um, believe withme that you have a purpose.

Do you have, any clue as to what your purpose might be in this.

Do you have the experience of being so in flow with your purpose, that you experienced a kind of perfection that you can, feel back into kind of know in your core that it was. I think those are always clues when we have those moments. And sometimes we can forget those moments,  until we bring up a conversation like this, and then you can think, well, how long has it been since you felt that way?

And what was it about that specific, chapter that had you feeling this way? I do believe that purpose changes over time or it can, or in some people's cases, they may build a mission around their purpose, which kind of allows them to keep reinvigorating. Like the exact purpose might actually move around even within that mission, for instance.

Right. So, kind of thinking really robustly about, about what our purpose might. So of course being that this is ladies like us. Um, I'll bring it back to a little bit about motherhood. I know this for sure that women who do not have children can sometimes feel like their life has no purpose and.

I mean, this is just not true. There are plenty of people that did not have children. And so it's not like there's a bunch of purposeless people on this planet. Because, for whatever reason, children did not happen for them. But culturally, because. Well, it makes so much sense, right? Like when you have another human being another soul and, and.

There to nurture that soul and really just ensure that that soul can be who that soul is supposed to be. And that's a huge responsibility. And so that's absolutely part of that purpose. I'm sorry. That's absolutely part of that person or organisms purpose, right? Likea hundred percent, just like my purpose is to birth a business or.

My purpose is to,  be there for my sister as she's,  transitioning to like a completely new chapter in her life. Um, I can, I can feel purpose about a lot of things. I think the point that I'm trying to make is that mothers, most mothers, I know. I mean, although their children are Central to their lives, at least hugely significant in terms of like their own evolution, their own, awareness of self, right.

Their own growth. That that is not the only purpose that they feel. And  if one feels like their only purpose was motherhood that can definitely create a tricky setup, in the future, especially as know, your children, as much as, you know, they're, they're perfect.

And from the top of their heads to the bottom of their feets is precious. They can still let us down. Right. Or They can move away from allowing, say a mother to completely, be, what she was to that child growing up as they individuate and grow into their own self.

And, a mother feels less and less like useful to that child, that can really damage. How thiswoman is thinking about her own purpose, right? Like, what then? So I do feel like childrenare not a substitute for having purpose. That's just between, you know, your soul and yourGod or your creator or whatever you kind of reckon, um, at the end of your life.

You know, you can't like say, Hey, look what my kids did. Like, you have to be like, this is what I did. And even if that is like, see how, see these amazing kids that I raised, see how Idid this, how I did that, blah, blah, blah. Like the point being that when you, when you enter those Burley gates, it's your soul going in, right.

So you have to ultimately be happy with. What you've created in this life. So I don't know. How did that sound? hope that didn't sound accusatory. I just think it's interesting though,because, I can't rest on, well, I shouldn't say rest on, I can't take responsibility for.

Uh, a child's success or failure. Right. So I can't blame myself for like fucking up a kid and I don't get kudos for like, creating an amazing kid. So like what w what am I left with? Like,what do I, you know, what am I reporting of my time here on earth? And, um, it's interesting to think about, am I right ladies?

So purpose, um, Depending on where you are. I'm on the spectrum of believing in a purpose. I think that it's always wise to give space to thinking about what is my purpose right now? You know, is, is it the same as it was five years ago? And if not, like where, where am I right now? And I'm Asking into that space of your greater wisdom, seeing where you're being led to.

Where are you being led to next?

This is another reason why the question of, how is this happening for me is, actually a much more powerful question then. I was even selling it to be in our, in our previous episode, so Something bad happens. Right. And you're like, how is this happening for me?And again, it gives us space, In our mind and our heart, like cools down our emotions, just a little bit softens our gaze so that we can not feel targeted by the universe, for somethingnegative happening. And then we can think about how we're labeling something. Like whether it truly is negative, right. It might be new.

Um, it might not be immediately recognizable as pleasant, but nonetheless, like we're getting new information. And if we give ourself a moment to ask that question, Well, what else it provides if we are tuned into that is, if this is happening for me, like, where is it leading?

Like what's, like what's it, what's it moving me towards? And like, just answering that question, because it's such a deeply intuitive question, that like, like only you can answer, right? Like if you ask that of a friend, I mean, you guys might come up with the same response, but my guess is that your response is gonna come from.

Your higher self, your deeper self. the part of you that actually does believe that you have a purpose and the answer that formulates will be connected in some way to that larger purpose. Right. It doesn't have to be the purpose of like your entire life, but it's tied to a purpose. um, like I was, I was upset that I moved to LA when I really wanted to stay, in New York, but I did it because I.

Wanted to start a family. I said, I I'm moving for family. And what I meant at the time when Itold myself this is me having a baby with, my boyfriend at the time he had two kids of his own. So we're creating family, right. I'm moving for family. but my little sister was living in LA and she was married and really unbeknownst to any of us like her, her husband was.

Going through some stuff and basically stepping outside of the marriage and really questioning whether he still wanted to be married. And what was so interesting about the two years where I was still in it for family quote unquote, is that I was absolutely there for my sister as she All of her, her, her hopes, everything that she had put faith in, essentially crumble.

and, and her life completely. I don't want to say disintegrated, but just everything that we thought that the path she was on was suddenly no longer the path at all. And after I, you know, that relationship was done, and I left with no. No child, So after I go through this period where, I see the writing on the wall that, a child is not to be from this relationship and that this relationship of my own is not really working. and so though I had moved for family. It was like, I quote unquote failed at creating family. Right. Or, yeah, I failed in my mission because I said I was moving there for family, but what's so crazy is that I absolutely.

Was there for family, just not in a way I expected, but like for me to recognize that, I was indeed there for family and I was there for my sister, that I got to in some ways, be a mother to her sister, to her, a friend to her, but nonetheless, I was there to support her and the universe could not have.

Created better timing for both of us, for, for this all to happen in our lives. And so that, to me, like when I really think about that awareness, I could have just beat myself up about what I didn't accomplish in terms of, um, you know, getting pregnant, having a child of my own, solidifying the family unit.

but what I, what I received was something completely different.  So getting back to purpose, I think that my answer to myself about being there for my sister, pointed me.

Towards that purpose, which is, it moved me towards the kind of coaching I do for one. but it, it moved me to accepting how, the non mother me absolutely had work to do. Like had, a lot that I could help, a lot that I could shape, um, a lot that I could create.

Even showing up here to, I guess, share, like, what is it like to have, have sincerely tried to lean into a purpose, which I thought, you know, motherhood would be, and also realize that even without motherhood, I absolutely had purpose.

So. I guess that's what I'm here to say. Um, and I'm happy to report that it's, it's amazing to feel, not, as a failure, because one purpose didn't  pan out, but to kind of feel into maybelike that, my larger purpose is to be here in a different way for different people.

I've had a, um, challenging relationship with my mother and it's funny because I think to myself, it's interesting, but I receive such amazing mothering. Um, or like those qualities that, you know, we look for in a mother, towards us, like that love, um,

whatever you consider a mother to give you. I received that from a lot of, a lot of. In my life, I have received it. I continue to receive it. I'm really grateful for it. And I think the universe just has this way of like balancing out what you, don't, what you think you're not getting. So I didn't get so much mothering.

Did I get to mother? Well, you know what? Like I am mothering and that's what I feel. Um, I'm happy that I have opportunities to exercise. My mothering muscle. And,  I am like in my joy as I do that. And so I know that this, um, desire for motherhood was not. Was that wasted, you know, it was put there for a reason.

It was put there for me to explore and, and turn over and, um, understand what it means and how to understand myself without mothering and without being a mother. Um, it's thisis part of my awakening. This is part of my journey. So, um, yeah, I don't know. I kind of went deep there, but there you have it.

I think that's a good place for me to stop today. So just  to recap about purpose, I just inviteyou to build on that question. How is this happening for me? And when you ask yourself. See, if anything comes up as it relates to purpose, like if the answers are coming from a bigger place, a deeper place, a place that kind of takes into consideration your whole life, not just this one moment.

if it actually makes sense on some level in the larger scheme of your life. Um, yeah. Well, I'm excited to hear how this goes for you. As for myself, I'm going to, I'm going to keep exploring and I will see you.