Embodiment Part 1: Feel It. Don't Think It.

Why is it so hard to get out of our heads? 
Why is dropping in to do breath work scary for some people?
"working on the problem" vs working on the problem.

Today's topic is EMBODIMENT.
First of all, what does the word embodiment mean?  We're going to go a little more than skin deep here. So hold onto your hat. We are talking quantum flips brain building, connecting with soul and forming good habits. We're going to talk body versus mine, dirty pain versus clean pain. 

Learn the 90 second rule. 
How you can power boost the help you get from your self help books. 

Transcript

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Here's the thing I could tell you that you're still home, but you're already home. I could tell you that you're still worthy, but you've always been worthy. Hi, and welcome to ladies like us. I'm your host, Linda lysing life in the other hood is what you make of it. So let's make the most of it. Show. I'm just here to give you everything in my arsenal. So you can live as your highest, most bad-ass self sound. Good. I'll see you inside. Hello, and welcome to a new episode of ladies like us. I'm your host, Linda lacing. So it's just me today. And I thought I would just tell you what I'm thinking about lately. What's getting me excited. About what I'm just excited to share. So what's coming across my radar lately is just dovetailing so beautifully in terms of what I'm working on myself and what I'm working with my clients on. So I kind of, can't not share it. The topic today is embodiments. first of all, what does the word embodiment means? you may have a history with this word and for some, it might be a deeper relation. Others, maybe not so much. We're going to go a little more than skin deep here. So hold onto your hat. We are talking quantum flips brain building, connecting with soul and forming good habits. We're going to talk body versus mine, dirty pain versus clean pain. Great. So, um, I guess we'll start with the definition of embodiment. So I think what might have been our understanding of it, say from the standpoint of our education, the dictionary definitions, it's just a tangible or visible form of an idea, quality or. So classically speaking, we could talk about an attribution, like she's the embodiment of grace or vitality or some idealized quality or concept. Right. And like having a physical manifestation of it or representation of it. So. If you've moved into mindfulness, meditation, or other minded management pieces, you might start to approach the sense of embodiment that I'm going to unpack today. I want to create this clarity around deeper aspects of embodiment, just as a way to demonstrate, contrast to some of the work that I often do in coaching, which is mindset work. So I'm sure you, you know, you get that mindset work is hugely important, but it's not everything I would say it's the beginning of higher consciousness, but not the end. No, not that we know the end point, you know? Um, so let me offer an example and I'm going to use the concept of a born again, Christian, and I promise that I'm not seeing this in any, snarky way. Okay. Um, just picture this. So, you know, you can be living a life of total depravity and one day just decide no more. Right. And you can decide Jesus is your savior and believe in the concept that your soul is now saved. When I first heard this and mind you I'm a Catholic school girl, I found it fascinating because, I hardworking Catholic girl trying to do good deeds. We're supposed to do, you know, good works, um, is kind of how you get into heaven. Right. And I just thought it was too good to be true. That all you had to do was simply stop and go, oh my God. I believe therefore, I am safe. Now what's funny about that is now I have no problem with this concept at all. And I'll tell you why, because the mind and accompanying beliefs create your real. Maybe you can kind of follow what I'm throwing down here, but yeah, a person who believes they're saved is like, well, say. This is an example of a quantum flip of thinking where you're putting your attention, uh, and belief on a new thought literally changes your reality. So, you know, quantum thoughts don't have to obey the laws of inertia, it doesn't obey those laws. It doesn't obey the laws of gravity. Uh, it's faster than a U-turn. And, um, I'll talk more about quantity. Thinking later, but the point is, is that as soon as you generate the thought that you believe, um, who's to say, that's not your new reality, right? So literally you change your thinking, you decide you're saved and no one can say or not because you have faith where you had an unbeatable. So I just want to get back to how we're using this example. Let's consider that quantum shift in thinking to be the mindset piece, right. And that's great. This person can wake up the next day and say, they decide it's all dream wishful thinking. But what if they don't and what if they continue with this new belief, the next step would be embodiment. So in order to sort of observably, embody this new belief, they would be operating in the world in a way that says I am saved. I am in alignment with my God. This would be the embodiment piece. Does that make sense? So, um, yeah, like simply really, um, having this belief of being saved, undergirding all the decisions and how you move about in the world. And so. I think what I'm getting at here is oftentimes when we are doing the work, we, we stop at the thought piece. Um, you know, so when we're reading like that self up book, or what have you, we are, we are reading and we are thinking about things, but we keep it at the mental. We read it, we consume it and then we forget about it, right? I mean, I'm guilty of it there. Um, his self help books and there are self-help books and, you know, I'm always happy if I managed to remember one nugget of it, because. I think it just means that it was there for me. Like there was a reason I pulled that book or that I was attracted to it. Right. Um, but I don't know. I mean, isn't there something vaguely disappointing about not remembering like all the other juicy lessons, especially when we remember the experience of reading the book and being really, really jazzed about the work that, um, you know, we're reading about. And so I think that. And I've thought about this concept a lot, like why we read self-help books and why they don't gain a foothold into change, how we, how we change. And so what I'm really discovering, and this is why I'm excited about embodiment and it keeps coming at me from different directions, but it's almost like a. A seed that was planted a long time ago in my mind is now germinating. And so I think what it is is that you have to take whatever you're learning, you know, the concepts and figure out what it looks like when, when you live it or put it through your own style of living your own machinery as it were, right. Like put it through your machine. and I think that when. You find a way to do it. It becomes, it has the possibility of becoming second nature to us because it gets fully embodied as an example. Um, and you probably are all are all familiar with Eckhart. Totally. And the power of now powerful, powerful book. Now, when I'm sitting in LA traffic like annoyed or I'm at the dentist getting drilled yet again, I, I, my mind knows to say, be in this moment as if you chose. No. I know that's a hard sell. It's a really hard sell. But what I'm seeing is that the habit of mind that calls that little exercise forth has become habit. And so, you know, it's not, it's like I can reference and say, oh yeah, Eckhart. Totally. But. Become just part of my, my habit. And so, you know, it's not all bad news. Like you may not remember everything you read, but if you get that one solid nugget, um, out of a book, I mean, obviously that's, that's a wonderful thing. Right. And you're building your own, your own way of, I guess, discovering, uncovering and your higher self. So yeah. So there's that piece now here. Here's the one that really got me excited. And, um, I hope you made it this far in the episode because this is consciousness, gold money. Look at me. I'm like an excited dog laying a morsel at your feet. So what I want you to let in is this feel, it don't think it.Feel, it don't think. It's like, what, what this means is we use the overthinking of things to bypass feeling things. So let's let that sink in there for a moment. So analyzing and talking about a thing and, you know, ruminating, it's actually a form of avoidance. I know it doesn't sound like it, but. Kind of like absorb that for a second. So you think you're quote unquote working on the problem, but it's like, you're not really cause you think about it, like you keep thinking about it. Right. So you're not solving anything and you're not even thinking to solve. Right. But it feels like you're working on it when you're kind of. Massaging it or kicking it around or whatever, but the point is is that you're not processing it now. Sure. You might get a Eureka moment here and there as you do this, but they call it ruminating for a reason like chewing the cud. Um, and what, what I want to offer here is that you keep it in your mind and you never let it sink below or outside of your mental body. Never sinks below your chin, if you will. Or if it does, you know, like it might just drop to the top of your chest and then it's like tight and you just clench up and then it bounces right back in your head. You're like, Nope, Nope. Not letting it in. And you know, I think a lot of us are in the habit of staying in the head about things and not getting into their body. And so, you know, we're going to get to this, but like why, why go to the body? Like, what's the point of. Right. Well, I learned this concept through the teachings of a woman named Alyssa, Nebraska. She's a very talented coach and she has her own certification program, which though I have not taken, I love her work and her domain, I think before coaching was in psychotherapy and she has a deep background in somatic work. Um, I, you know, I became interested in this and then every time I kind of check in with her work, I, I, I find that she does a lot of this, um, kind of unifying the mind and the body, or if anything, almost like just getting out of the head and into the body and letting that. Um, help the process. So anyway, I trust her judgment. And when she started to speak about this, I resonated like hardcore. And so the metrics she offers is this, like, can you dig it? It takes 90 seconds for emotions to flow through and get processed by the body 90 seconds. Like to say we belabor and make things harder on ourselves as an understatement. Now, sometimes, I'm working with someone and I can feel this resistance to feeling and. I think what I observe a lot is like, they show you their feeling through like, how they're talking about it. Like, you know, resigned or huffing and puffing or whatever. But there's usually like, like a story they're telling, right? Like, oh, this and then that, and it might even be like, oh, because. You know, having anxiety disorder it's like this and they might be labeling everything. But the point is, is that there's this big story. And you know, when you ask them how they're feeling, sometimes they can come back and tell you a feeling. But a lot of times it's almost like there's a refusal to like stop, churning out the narrative and getting into the feeling space. And so, yeah, I just find it fascinating because so many people are so armed with all these narrative tools. Right. And again, I've talked about the power of story before, but this is an instance where, you know, people become attached to stories that really just don't serve us. And, you know, they might feel true in the moment, but they. Like have to be true. That could be a part of it's true, but like the larger part of them is not. And so, yeah, like I think story getting. Um, maybe getting it reflected back to you is important. It's nice to give it space, but you gotta empty it out so that you can move past it, and work through it. So what you want is to process the emotions, right? Because that's what it is, is like, We think, and then we feel, we think, and then we feel, we think we feel we choose. So we want to process that feeling so that we can feel At choice, like we have choices. So anyway, when you, when you don't process the emotions, you hold onto the story and it seems to then perpetuate itself as your reality. So it's, it's even so powerful. And again, we're going back to this belief here, right? Once it's kind of like your brains decided, that's your reality? What happens? Um, you're probably finding more evidence for it to be true. And then more things will quote, unquote, seemingly happen to support how true it is. And before, you know, like it it's become truer than it ever was. Right. And that's like a negative manifestation. I mean, just like the opposite is true too. Okay. Um, anyway, I digress. Um, but I don't know about you, but I so wish I had learned this in my twenties. I mean, seriously. Um, yeah. Would have saved myself a lot of heartache. I would just go, go, go. And luckily I was burning the candle at both ends. So I guess things that bothered me didn't so much keep me up at night, but because I kept like every available time slot filled, um, and. just toss those pesky thoughts into the proverbial basement. And most definitely not deal with my emotions in any director, productive way, hint, hint, 20 something emotions. And then one day my body would just give out and I'd be like, what? What's going on? Like, oh my God. You know, like as if there's just no connection between all the things that I'm burying and the fact that my body's just like, no. Right. Like, just stop either it's like sickness or break something, just, you know, just bad things. And so I can really see how my younger self was completely disconnected from my body, unless I needed it for something or to make it look nice. Um, You know, get me places, but it was almost like I was just operating all from, from my mind and, you know, ego and all those things that go with it. Right. Um, yeah, I had lots of stories as you can imagine. anyway, back to our topic, so when we invite ourselves to just feel so just pause. And drop the story for a second, and just let the feeling be identified. And I don't mean named, I just mean like you find it, like, where is it in your body? You might hear people say that sometimes. And like, I think at first I, it didn't resonate with me cause I'm like, what do you mean? Where is it in my body? And it was like, because my mind was too noisy, too. Yeah, like the mine's just a diva. Right. And it just doesn't let the body have, it's more subtle vibrations. But when you actually are looking to feel in your body, maybe what's corresponding to the feelings that are being churned up, uh, through your story. You know, you'll find that. It's different places get lit up or activated and w whatever is happening there, that's activating, like, that's the emotional vibration. That's the thing that takes 90 seconds to move through the body. It's like watching a wave, you know, it's like kind of build, build, build, and then there's a crash. And then there's like a right. And so, you know, no I'm not seeing solve. Like emotions, aren't solved by the body because the emotions are not a problem when they're presented this way., your body's not like movies, emotions are a problem. It's just like, it is a subtle wave that you have to train yourself to get into the habit of looking for being with, and breathing into. And ultimately. Letting go. And so knowing that it's only 90 seconds, um, I'm hoping this is useful information because for me it was just like, wow. So all the things that we're avoiding, thinking about and feeling, you know, 90 seconds, I mean, I, we can do that. Right. I think we can do that. And. I asked as a fun exercise. I almost thought it would be fun to just start a timer here and then time 90 seconds live in this episode. So we can just collectively feel what 90 seconds actually is as far as processing an emotion or moving through an emotion. Um, let's see. Like this emotion of total dismay about how thinking stops the feeling of a thing let's process this. Okay. Maybe not that that's kind of a big idea, but, um, I think for me, that concept, I carried it around for a little bit. And again, this is why I'm sharing it because now I've kind of made it my own. So to speak I know this work isn't easy, but. I really now feel like I am equipped to feel into like, oh wow. I am in my head too much right now. You know, I can tell because I'm getting pissy about something that happened. Like hours ago and it's sort of like what's left in there. There's something in a story, right? Like, I don't know a sense of injustice, a sense of, um, dissatisfaction, a sense of something that's not going away. Right. And so, you know, as another example, like it's, it's in my head, but if I just pause and go, Hmm, okay. If my heart space, my heart. Whichever resonates for you had to solve this problem. What would I do differently? And, you know, your hurts and other brain, your guts and other brain, when you kind of slip out of your mind and just kind of concentrate on your heart, even that is like a big shift of like the command center. Um, if that makes sense. You know, just anything to get away from the tyranny of the mind, it softens our gaze. It softens our fear of the problem. And yeah, I think it's, it's a practice worth developing now. Here's why it probably doesn't come naturally or why it might be hard it's because it doesn't always feel safe to leave our mind. I know it seems crazy, but like, doesn't that feel kind of. If you really think about it, it's simply doesn't feel safe to leave our mind. You know, we've put so much stock into our mind. Think about all these expressions. We have our wits about us, whoever hacks, our learning, you know, our experience, our wisdom, you know, we know what patterns to recognize, uh, what signs, to look for red flags, all this stuff. And I think that we attribute everything we recognize as our survival smarts or skills as coming from the brain, which, early man. Yeah. We have big brains because we figured this stuff out, but there's a lot of like brain that's there to simply scan the environment for terrible danger, which again, have things coming at us, trying to eat us. And so we scan other things as threats in the environment. And so, in terms of like getting into. Dropping into our body. And again, why does it feel so separate? Right? Like we're so in our mind, and it's like, why does dropping in the body feel like such a big deal? But it really is just, um, it's almost like the brain wants all the awareness to stand the brain. You know, it's like its own closed loop. It's trying to retain that stronghold. Cause it's your consciousness, that's everything. Right? So as soon as you move the con, like that consciousness into your body, you can literally feel into and, and feel. Your, I want to say other selves, but like, it, it, I think it's kind of true that there are, there's a sense of different selves. We talk about higher selves, your higher self can see like the big you sees the little you, if you let it. And it's something akin to that. And that's beauty of consciousness is that it's like, you can't really locate it. Like our consciousness can sort of fill the room or. You know, pull it in deep, deep, deep into our body. And speaking of pulling it in, um, this dropping into our body is actually one of the ways to be completely in the now. Pulling, uh, uh, talking about our Ecker totally once again, but when you get that visual of a completely going inward, you, you get past this idea of your bodies, you know, organs and things like that. And. instead you can, you can visualize the breath. You can almost just be your energy body. And so when you're doing this work of like, um, working through emotions, really, like you can just see how they are different vibrations, different physical sensations that really aren't good or bad, they just kind of are. Right. But then, well, what if you don't feel safe going into your body and, it's such an interesting thing because like, why should. Feels separate. Um, and I wonder. You know, for you listening, if you notice this perception of like separateness, there are times when you are, absolutely can be tapped into your body, but so many times, like, we're just like, uh, like a, a mind and we're on the computer and there's like, no real sense of body until you start aching or you need to go to the bathroom or what have you. Right. Um, but yeah. I just want to offer. It makes a lot of sense. If you think about it, um, if you perceive that your power and safety comes from your mind and your thinking, um, that, you know, your, your mind has created a lot of safety and some success for you, it can feel like maybe you're abandoning your post and leaving yourself vulnerable and unprotected. Right. So this vigilant, anxious, tyrant mind becomes the master and the guardian and, the body's just kind of there to serve it. Right. But why, why should we mistrust our bodies? Right. And, you know, I know that when we mistrust our bodies or we have a. Story about that. Um, yeah, it's exactly that it's, it's a story it's, it's, it's certain meanings attached to what was able to happen with our bodies and what was not right. But really, um, thinking about all that goes right with our bodies, just in, in terms of biology and the systems, like all that goes right. Is pretty incredible if you think about it. But beyond that, um, You know, the body in some teachings is actually what the soul, the soulful self is communicating with. I know like stay with me, but like, think about this pathway for a minute. Like if the soulful self is communicating with the body and then it's the body that's communicating with the mind. Well, then, you know, it's kinda no wonder there's a sense of disconnect because we kind of have a backwards, right? It's sort of like more of a circle than a top down. You know, plan. So, um, yeah, just kind of wanted to offer that, that thought tidbit, because it's something that I'm playing around with as well. Um, but I know with the body mind thing, it does feel like we have multiple selves and you know, this is not even including like the soulful and intuitive parts of us. Right. So there's multiple communication systems happen. And, I think we just get into trouble when we don't honor the wholesale. So going back to this, feel, it don't think it, when we're thinking and thinking and thinking about a problem. It feels active. Like, it feels like we're doing something, but this is just going to stay in your brain and, um, become its own little story loop, um, until you deal with it. Right. And sometimes it takes a bigger story to knock that story out, for instance. So, um, Yeah. So I think giving that in 90 seconds to just consciously follow, like what it is to allow an emotion to just be there, what does it feel like to let it flow and to watch it dissolve and what happens to. The story that you had, um, does that help, like loosen the knots a little bit with regards to the story and just one final thought about that is, um, what is emotion when it's not even attached to a story? Like, what is it anyway? Right. What's an emotion. I mean, we say it's a vibration and again, we don't have a way to measure all these vibrations. Most of us don't anyway, but I wonder what it feels like when you if you've experienced letting an emotion move through you. I love. Uh, hearing like how people describe it, because I think this is where, um, everyone's individual experience and creativity with words is like really, really interesting. So, I hope you don't just listen to this and forget about it really like 90 seconds. Right. Like, um, I, I think that it's so doable and it will take some practice, um, for, you know, this embodiment practice to be, be to become embodied in your, um, in your habits. But I really invite you to work with this and I think that's all I have for today. Next week we're going to continue talking about embodiment and we are going to talk about clean pain versus dirty pain. Doesn't that sound interesting? Um, another sort of game-changing conversation for me, but, um, Pretty cool way to think about, you know, this, this concept of, um, pain is unavoidable, but suffering is optional and, um, I'm sure we can all feel into. That you, and even though it feels like we can't help herself sometimes, sometimes, um, if we, if we have, and this is where the brain is really great, you know, if we have a framing and an understanding of like what we're doing, um, and maybe even like, a phrase to keep us remembering to like, not do a thing, whether it's like a monthly. Or like an acronym or something like that. I think, uh, sometimes these things can be really effective at creating, I guess what I would call, um, mental hygiene. So anyway, I hope that was helpful. Thank you for being here. I hope you are having an amazing week. Sorry about my stuffy nose, cold voice, but I will be better by next week. Talk to you soon. Bye-bye.