Ladies Like Us
Ladies Like Us
Pre-mother Nicole ponders the possibility of finding good father material.
Linda has a candid chat with her friend Nicole Briggs about circumstantial infertility. The circumstance here is the lack of a partner, but with her abundant resources, Nicole is ready to graduate from plant Mama to real life Mama and family unit.
Listen in as we unpack Nicole's motherhood vision and gain some some wisdom from this Lady Like US.
all right. So welcome to another episode of ladies like us. I'd like to welcome a very, very special guest. One of my, my first great friends,,in Los Angeles another, retail ex-pat like myself. Nicole Briggs is a sales marketing professional, fashion world survivor and off the clock, a master manifester. Not only that she is in my soul tribe. She is in my think tank. And I want her to be in the foxhole in case of the zombie apocalypse. So that's who she is. Nicole. Welcome to ladies like us.
Nicole:Thank you so much for having me, I'm excited to be here and to be on the other side of this, I'm usually doing the interviewing. Thank you for that lovely intro. And,you know, we may be closer to that last topic than we actually think. So let's just make sure we're there for each other with. Toilet paper and, uh, supplies and weapons. Um, be happy to be in the foxhole with you.
Linda:Oh my God. Thank you for saying yes. And Nicole Briggs is the creator to this amazing podcast. You Have to Wear Something. How many episodes in are we?
Nicole:I think we are three years in and on average, a like two episodes, two to four episodes per month. Depending on time, there were times where I was either. Working not working in consulting, not consulting, you know? And when you have more time to just have more time, why the hell not let's record more? Um, but I also, I know that I'm, um, prone to being addicted to producing. We can get into that later, like fertility and all of that, but, um, I'm definitely one of those who really loves to be productive, for myself and I'm into self-improvement. So I feel like, um, I want to create more shows when I have more time. Yeah.
Linda:That makes so much sense.
Nicole:There's a little by, by the way, like, this is the type of thing that happens in your life. Wow. Three years, I feel like I just started it, but it's, it's, it's still going.
Linda:Yeah. Yeah. And, um, I definitely will want to talk about that more, but tell me, how has it evolved for you in terms of what you started, you know, as your inspiration to like where you have it today.
Nicole:Well, you know, it used to be, um, It actually came from kind of like a little jab from someone I knew who, um, there are some people who will say they, they mock fashion people, right. It's really funny. Or they try to display like people are in retail or fashion as shallow people and, you know, They're like, well, I'm just like, I don't care. You know, I don't care about fashion or I don't care about style, but you make choices every day. Right. So whatever you have to wear something, you can't go out naked, you'd get arrested, you know? So it would kind of always be my response to people who were just like, I don't care, but yeah, I mean, Some people work really hard at not caring, rightly like, Oh, everything I buy is from thrift store. Well, that's an intended style. That's, you know, a choice that you make. And so, you know, one of the first episodes I talked about my dad and like, yeah, my dad is a Vietnam vet and it's clear on his style. He's got pow hat on. He's got a army jacket on from, you know, the sixties early seventies from when he came from Vietnam and all of that. So emotional, you know, being a soldier. Surviving Vietnam, you know? So, um, you're expressing something.
Linda:Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm such a firm believer in that, you know, sitting on the, uh, the subway in New York and you just sort of look across at someone and just like seeing what they chose, you know? Um, it, it, it gave me such a glimpse into what they like the textures and how they want to like, sort of present themselves to the world, you know? And I think for a lot of us who. Maybe aren't in the arts, that's the closest we come to some kind of self-expression right. So
Nicole:yeah, it's definitely can be a mood booster. It could be maybe your, I went through a all black phase. I mean, you know, in high school, right. I'm like doing my Tori Amos grungy phase and you know, I'm like black Daria. Right. But then I get into light color later, early two thousands, and that's. When, um, you know, like little Kim and Paris Hilton and all, you know, all these pinks, all these rhinestone, you know, cell phones and all of this color and popping glamor is really hot at the time. Right? So you go through phases, you go through moods, you go through so much as a woman emotionally. And, um, I'll never forget like the concrete runway in New York. Right. Uh, being on the train is so fascinating. Like you said, it was a woman sitting across from me. She was dressed pretty simply and she kind of had like a men's overcoat on. She had like, I swear to God, like 40 broaches on like, wow. Like it was so cool. And I was staring at each one and of course she knows people are going to stare at it. So, um, uh, communication without saying words.
Linda:Absolutely. No, I love that. Huh? Interesting. Well, So as you know, um, we here at ladies like us, we like to really dive into the question of motherhood and Nicole like myself is what we would consider to be in the other hood, uh, as in the non mom tribe. So as my, my fellow non mother, I love to ask what has been your journey, if anything, around motherhood.
Nicole:I would say like, um, having like three siblings and having hardworking parents, um, it's a lot of work. Like I don't take motherhood lightly. I think that. You can let your ego kind of run away with you while you're dreaming about a child in terms of like holding a baby and is very therapeutic to hold babies and they're magical creatures, but for the most part, they'll say human being and they're going to spend most of their time as an adult. Not so much as a baby, that's a very like finite period of time. So, um, I looked at how much work it is. Um, I've experienced people in high school who were single moms. I've I definitely, when I'm manifesting, I like to have support systems in place. So of course there's always a financial factor and I never wanted to, I always want it to give my child the best as much as I could. And also not just. So much resources were like going to private schools or something, but me being the best person I am to invest, intellectually and emotionally and prepare that person because it's, you know, it's like you said, the apocalypse is coming, so yeah, it's wild out here. It's going to be get your baby. Yeah. And I feel like now I have so much. To offer an entire human being right. And that has come over time, my experience and my development and my evolution. And so maybe in my twenties, you know, My plants died, but now in my forties, my plants are thriving. And so, you know, sometimes people joke and they, you know, they say that like city girls, they'll not to take care of plants and stuff like that. Well, it's like, you can always change it. And I like to be an example of that. Like, wow, I'm a little bit more maternal now than I was before. And I always had cats. So I always had a lot of pets in my family. So there was always like a lot of, um, You know, pets is just unconditional love, right? Once you become their mom, you know, mom, dog, mom, whatever. They're just so happy when you come home, that feeling, you know, warmth. Um, so I think there's that too. But I think that me being a little tough on myself and having high expectations, it trickles down into, the waiting for the right time and also being single when you're. You have a vision for your life and you definitely would not want to be a single mom. I just don't. I like the idea of a mom and dad. They, they have something different to offer to a person that's growing up. And I like the idea of that. Yeah. Yeah.
Linda:You know, listening to a lot comes up for me. Um, for one thinking about being part of, sort of a gen X gen Y kind of, Time in college, for instance. Right. And how it really was about, you know, you don't just sort of lean back and just get married and be a mom. And this isn't like. You know, disdainfully speaking for anything. We were sold a pill, right? Like we were like, Oh, you know, that's not valid onto itself. Like you have to be this, um, self-actualized person and all the ways and, you know, financially sound and this, this and that. And, and, and not reliant on anything else in order to have, our babies. And it's, it's funny how, if we take that too seriously, we can like, you know, Time ourselves out, you know, or like, it just, it takes a while to kind of get there. Um, but the other thing that kind of comes up is that your siblings, like you have a brother that's a bit younger, right?
Nicole:Yeah. I have three brothers and then my younger brother was a surprise, you know? Um, my mom had taken measures to not have children. She was done for me. And they're like eight and a half years later here, he comes at obviously a blessing and a surprise and one of my closest relatives, you know, Just, I also remember having a lot of joy and rocking him and singing, and he was a very relaxed baby, um, making, just going through the motions of the task of making bottles or dressing him or bathing him or creating the overnight bag for the sitter or whatever, um, there's like a routine to it. And I think I enjoy. Um, I think I'm a little bit of a, like, you make a list and you check it twice kind of thing like that and brings you a lot of joy. Like I did everything on this list, you know? But, I think that I definitely, have a realistic approach when like I read these and it says it costs a million dollars to raise a kid, you know? And I'm like, Oh, not that you need it all in the bank right away, but I just didn't want to, um, I want to be the best, you know, and I don't want to. Let my, let my child down and I know that people get it wrong and they seek therapy later for that. But, I wish people would take a little bit more of a moment, you know, to, to consider it. And, and now that I'm having a little bit more, legacy building, writing, doing podcasts and all that store, and I have a book manuscript and things like that and things that I'm going to leave behind. Um, that's when you consider it, you're like, you know, right now, you know, and your retirement, they ask you like, who was the benefactor of God forbid, something happened to you and you know, right now it was just my brother. Sorry, family. But like, you know, I don't have anybody to like leave my money to, you know, that I would love to do that, but it's
Linda:funny, you know, because, um, it wasn't until you started speaking that, like, I kind of connected some dots for myself, but you know, I have a baby sister who's 12 years younger and I wonder if you feel this way, but I think on some level and same, like, I think like legacy-wise. She's the one that I, you know, would leave it to. Right. And, I also feel like I had some experience of motherhood through her. And, you know, I know that although we, you know, we naturally go into kind of friendship mode and then mother and daughter mode and sister mode, you know, we occupy all those things that there is this connection that is. Definitely tinged by that time where I was a little bit like her mother, she used to, you know, I take her to the doctor's and she would like, whisper to the doctor that I was her mother when the doctor knew I wasn't, you know, but I think she was just kind of I don't know, tickled by the idea that I was her mother. So yeah. Um, on some level I think I, I kind of experienced that a little bit.
Nicole:Yeah. You know, I, I think that, um, I admire people who have had a plan. I have friends who are divorced, you know, and they're a bit of, you know, single parents and things like that. You know, it's so funny, usually in divorce. I, and this is just what I see. I just experience a lot. I see a lot more of men continuing to procreate along the way, and they'll maybe have like another family and then have children maybe with that woman. And you don't see a lot of that where the woman has had two kids and it does happen, but usually, um, A single divorce say have like two to three kids. They're pretty, they're, they're done having kids. You know what I mean? And so, especially because I, and I, and this gets into patriarchy, but I just think that the approach that, um, the American culture lifestyle has towards, parents there being no like paternity leave is not as important as maternity leave. You know, it's not so still we're a little. Juvenile in the sense that a man connecting with their baby is not equally important to a woman connecting with their baby. I would love a partner who. I was totally into taking paternity leave. Right. And spending that time together, of course, in Holland and the Netherlands, all those
Linda:countries.
Nicole:Yeah. Florida countries, they're doing it. You know, I mean, you can take years sometimes like many years of paternity leave. And I think that that is so important. So I feel like some of the drawbacks of, Being in a young, ambitious country, right? There's uh, we noticed that without universal healthcare and that being so much inequity between like what men and women get paid and even what people of color, you know, get paid and things like that. You know, the only reason you're working is to build this life. You want to buy the house so that you could go inside of the house and then love up on your family, you know? And that's what makes community, and I think that, you know, As soon as one thing goes wrong, like this pandemic, then it affects it. It collapses these moms who, some who are very wealthy are still suffering. They're at home. They're leaving the workforce in droves. And they're realizing that, you know, like you said, well, we were sold gen Xers, gen Yers that we could have it all and it just, it's not true. The burdens in this company, Borden is different. It is heavier for women. And I think to enter that role with your eyes open, and I mean, of course, what your husband's not going to be like breastfeed, you know what I mean? There's things, um, that are just a little bit heavier for the woman. And I just want to make sure that I don't resent that. You know, that I'm automatically the person that is ultimately responsible for this child's upbringing.
Linda:interesting. Yeah. You bring up that, um, that you can have it all thing. And that's something that, you know, I turn over in my coaching practice a lot, which is. You know, I always ask the question, like, who decides what a complete life looks like, you know, or how do we non moms, like, how do we stack up when it comes to like the complete life checklist. Right. And, you know, you think about the women that quote unquote, have it all like. They struggle because keeping every one of those plates spinning, you know what I mean? Like, like they, they have to kind of retain assemblance of like, yes, I have it all and I have to keep it all going versus like deciding, okay. You know what? This part isn't that important? You know what I mean? Like, I can let this. This bit go, I can let this bit go. And it's weird how, like being in a pandemic, we're all forced to do that. You know, like some things we just had to let go or they were taken away. And so, you know, we're just, we're just dealing with having less, which, you know, I'm not completely mad about us learning this. Right. Like, I think it's been a valuable lesson.
Nicole:A reset is great. A reset. Yeah. Turn the, turn it off. I wouldn't want to go back. I'm not saying I'm. I'm. Happy about the pandemic. What I am is I'm grateful because what happens when a crisis occurs is those who are the most vulnerable. It draws attention to that, you know, those communities and women as a whole, you know, like those who have lost the most, women's business women's careers are once you, they told us that we could have, and, and even, you know, with our careers, it Exposes that inequity, and as you know, like I get fired up about the underrepresented, right? I feel like there's no way in hell. I should be making 60 cents on the dollar for every, whatever can be killed. So the know, and, and you can't wait till it's perfect, right. To have a child, like I'm not going to live to see that equity. I can just have to do the best I can while I'm here. When we talk about what's next, I've had the conversation of. Okay, these are my. Must haves. These are my non-negotiables right. Um, having a family and even if I did, it would be a small family. I can homeschool the hell out of one child all day long. It's like I read every day and you know, people call me and, you know, It was so funny. I just spoke to six, seventh and eighth graders for career day. Cause I've had that nonlinear crazy career you spoke about earlier and. Um, you always get afraid because you know, kids are so cool and they don't know that they're little brats at the time, you know, and have a lot on their shoulders too, you know, trying to, go to school from home a whole year. That's tough on kids. Kids want to be outside and live their lives and they don't get that time back, you know? And, um, so, you know, I'm kind of like goofy and funny and serious at the same time, really serious about work. And so, I got a little survey back and they were really, it was very varied and we're like, we liked that. I feel she made me want to public speak for a living. She made me want to go into marketing and sales. She changed my view on, um, sales. And when I'm saying it was just really rewarding to speak to about roughly 30 kids. And have something like resonate with like 11 to 14, because that's a really tough time, totally challenging time. It's such a confusing time. I, I, you couldn't pay me to take a time machine and relive it all over again or would not want, um, and so it was, it was cool to like, Not be like, cause one of them was so funny in the chapter, like boomer and I'm like, hold on. Now boomers are born in the fifties yeah, right in the eighties, like, let's get our arrows down. I'm not a grandmother, I'm an auntie, you know? And so they liked that. I kind of snapped back in the chat and they're like, Nicole doesn't take no, you know, they're like, she, you know, she got you, or whatever. And it was funny to like, yeah, I gotta take the best from these kids. They're not even my kids, you know? But, um, no, they, they, they, they enjoyed me. And I would just say that even just. That alone was like, Aw, man. Like I wish I had like a, a little Bret to just get on their nerves all day long, you know, just, just one though, not a basketball team or anything.
Linda:Awesome. Cause I was going to ask you like how you live out your, your, your mom mojo and like you kind of just launched into it and it's like, you kind of lit up, as you, as you talked about how you created resonance for these kids and it's so true, it, it is a hard age. You know, what I think about sometimes is, um, The naturalness around kids. Like when you have your own, like, you know, maybe you're all fragile about the first one or something, or you start to understand like, okay, they're delicate, but not unbreakable. You know what I mean? And like, you know how to talk to them and like, they're just progressing. So like, their brattiness is like, okay, something that you're kind of dealing with because you're watching it kind of like get bigger, you know? But when you just suddenly approach, you know, that age, right. When you don't have kids, it's almost like, cause you know, I remember I was not quite a stepmother, but you know, I was. My boyfriend had had kids that age and stepped into
Nicole:the role,
Linda:but it was hard to penetrate. No, because it was like that age. Okay. So, you know, there were two little, they were two boys and it wasn't like I could just grab them and throw them in my lap. You know what I mean? They were a little too old for that and, and I'm just another woman in their father's life, you know? So like what was the appropriate way for me to like, be in their lives? So, yeah, I, I kudos to you for. Just showing up the way you did and, inspiring them, which again, that age they can be a little, um, it's the word. Even if they are inspired, they want to hide it. Right. Cause it's like not cool. And I love that they just, in spite of themselves were inspired by you. So
Nicole:I mean, the one comment that I got that was so cool and I love this because you know, it's like a lot of them were like kids of color, you know, and, um, The one young black girl said in her survey, she's like, even though I wouldn't do what she does for a living. I liked that I liked her, you know, and I liked that Nicole, she's a person that's not going to let anything get in her way. And you have to be reminded of that because you don't see it. You're living in your body and in your, your ups, your downs, your wins, your losses every day, uh, siloed at home during pandemic all by myself here, you know? And so, uh, you don't know that, but I, I guess I am, you know, I am a person that doesn't like, Likes to overcome. I do like to overcome barriers and be challenged and get past it and grow and get uncomfortable and all that good stuff. And, um, they, they, they got that from that, that one little hour that I had of their life. And, um, that was, yeah. Look at this
Linda:girl holding up a mirror to you.
Nicole:Oh, she was like, she was like, yeah, I'm this Nicole talking about, let anything get in her way. I was like, Yeah, damn right. Yeah. But, um, yeah. And then, you know, that goes back when I was younger, I taught like photography, um, at a nonprofit, for a few summers and then taught, uh, human rights at amnesty international. So it comes in and out, like when I have the time, the capacity to kind of, you know, Talk to kids. I feel like I do. And it's been a long gap. It's been a long time since I was able to do this. I was really excited to do that for a friend of mine. Who's a principal. Yeah. Yeah,
Linda:yeah. No, that's awesome. So in terms of, um, anything else you want to add about like living out your mom mojo here?
Nicole:I mean, yeah. I mean, I constantly. Work on stuff. And I think that, um, you don't want people like start a business and you're like, it's my baby. Or they write a book. They're like, it's my baby, you know? Nice. You have a lot of babies. I
Linda:have a lot of days you have
Nicole:a lot of babies. I have a lot of projects. And so I have a lot of babies so there's never a dull moment. When the weekend comes, cause right now I'm on, on a contract. Um, I never have enough of the weekend to do all the things I want to do for the product. I want to record the podcast. I want to do a newsletter for the online shop. And then I want to, you know, buy ads on Facebook and then I, you know, want to record, it's all these things that I want to want to mess around on clubhouse, you know? And there's just not enough time to, um, and I think about that too. I'm like, am I. So self absorbed that even if I did have a child, I would have to like give something up, you know? Cause you know, you meet moms and they're just like, Oh yeah, I used to. Whatever roller skate, you know, my girlfriends once a month. And I have to kind of give it up for Jimmy's baseball team or what have you. I think that, that women do that a lot too. They're like I have to be the one that makes the sacrifice. I have to sacrifice my stuff for their stuff. So I think about that too. Like, am I, you know, am I selfish? My self absorbed, you know, Yes. Yes. You know? Um,
Linda:yeah, it's funny, right? Like I think we make time for the things that are important. And so you're right. I think it's a sacrifice on one hand, but it's like such a reward in another way. You know what I mean? And I think the unexpected, like wisdom you get from just encounters with kids is pretty great. Um, which you're right. Like, I think both of us are, are, are, you know, constantly efforting and creating and producing and yeah, we're, we're pretty, pretty full with that stuff, but, I think we would still make time for meaningful encounters with our children.
So
Nicole:too, I think so too, you know, it's so funny. It's like, You could have a business as a baby and you will get support from friends, but nothing at the level of like a wedding or a baby shower. I know we chatted before, but it's like, that's when people get really excited and I definitely have spent a fortune on either like wedding gifts or baby gifts and let me tell ya I don't get nothing from the stuff I'm babying, you know?
Linda:Yeah. Yeah. You're reminding me of that, um, sex in the city episode over with this, she's like, all right, you know what? I've shelled out for all the showers, all the things. Um, now I'm having a little party and come on, give me some,
Nicole:and I haven't registered at Manolo Blahnik, you know? And so, um, you know, it just doesn't really work that way. And, um, I dunno. It's so interesting. I think that we should start having these celebrations around. Yes. You pass the bar, you know? Yes. You got your MBA. Yes. You know, think a little bit, yes. You have a great garden. Like, wow. This garden, you grew your own food. Like. You know, I'm not there, you know, like
Linda:I agree. I think that celebration, you know, and, and kind of extending it outward from just simple, like there's human rituals, you know, but there's like more than just having a child and getting married. I mean, there are a lot of other milestones that could be celebrated, and, I think you're right. I think energetically just like, what is, what is it to celebrate other people, you know, and their achievements or, you know, their yeah. Just milestones in life. I love that idea.
Nicole:Yeah. And another thing that happens too socially is, um, and the South mapping to me as well is. I feel to be more than qualified, to be a great auntie, you know, or whatever, any child. Um, and I know I am a bunch of nieces and nephews and my family, but, um, the friends who have kids or marry hang hangout with couples who are married with kids and they tend, there's this idea that they, you cannot have single women. Right? Around like, your married man, or have them in your group. They have to create kind of nuclear group of parents and kids now. And that, that happens too. And I think that's a little, I think that could be a little bit more progressive in the sense that. Everyone. Everyone still matters. You know what I mean? Everyone's still valuable as a friend. Um, so that's something that happens too, is that there's a social aspect to it. No,
Linda:That's really cool that you highlight that because you know, again, like in our space here of, just exploring the, that spectrum of mothering energy and you're right. There's the kind of segregation and polarity and, you know, binary kind of vision about that. And I just, I just don't think that's really correct, you know, um, for me, like I'm not. Deliberately, you know, quarantining from children,
Nicole:right. Me neither. Yeah. But
Linda:like right now. Okay. We're quarantining. So it's like, okay. I can't just ask to hang out with someone's kids. You know what I mean? But like I would, you know, I mean, and it's, it's interesting because my friend, you know, Cassia, she is the mother, she's the one who has children and she's got like a halo of friends who are. Women who are mostly married and don't have children, and it's almost like her children have become like the communal children. And so she's kind of the opposite where she actually has more single or, non mother friends, but they kind of get to share partake in each other's worlds, you know, like with, without much of a hard boundary,
Nicole:which is really cool. She's, she's extremely progressive. Right. And in that sense, I just think a lot of these, um, the way we're conditioned, you know, by gender role and things like that, a lot of that, the antiquated lays are still prevalent today. Like if I was supposed oh, my God, you know, I'm I'm six months pregnant would be like a lot of attention, you know, whatever social media or family or otherwise. Cause even though my mom has three sons and one daughter, she has expressed that it's different for my daughter to have a child. Even though she has all the grandkids she could ever want. So it is different. Yeah. Yeah.
Linda:No, totally. So
Nicole:here's the question. Yep.
Linda:Nicole, what's something you wanted when you were 10 that you still wanted, when you were 15 that you still wanted when you were 30, that you still want now.
Nicole:Wow. Just the ability to travel anywhere at a moment's notice. I think, you know, when I go to see a reader is in my sign being an Aquarius and rising in cancer and all that kind of stuff, I think I'm constantly spiritually I'm being told that. The main things in my life are freedom and achievement. Right? So you see that over and over again, and the ability, that's also another reason why people like me may not have a child because you can just kind of get up, go. So there's that push pull there. Um, but I think that the ability, freedom, and resources to really go anywhere is what. Is like the ultimate dream of what I've always wanted since I was 10. I love it.
Linda:I love it. I love the clarity of your answer too. You're such an Aquarius. Um, no, I love it. I love it right now. It's so, interesting to hear. That the way you're situated around the motherhood question is very, um, high level. It doesn't come from something that you didn't get to have, so much as. There's a way in which you would like to create it. You have a certain standard for how you would want to make that happen, but if it doesn't that, you know, you are so well well-resourced in life and you have so much power of creation that you would be very happy to, dive even deeper into what you create, or explore the world even more. Oh
Nicole:yeah. I haven't, you know, completely, retired at the idea of. Having a farm in my older age and having like. Goats and horses and stuff like that. And I'm not outdoorsy at all. And they don't love the smell of farms. I'll be honest with you. I haven't, I, I think in the future, we're all going to need, um, more resources around food and water and more sustainability, you know? And I think when you think about freedom and not wanting to depend on a system or a grid or people more freedom comes with wow. Like my foods in my backyard, I have a. You know, a supportive water supply. Um, you know, I guess I could kill my chicken and eat it, you know, like even that would be mothering, you know? Um, I love watching this transition with khalis who, you know, is a huge star singer and all of that and left kind of that life still famous, but. You know, it was like, you know what, I'm going to become a chef. And she went to cooking school, went to court on blue, and now she has a farm. And, you know, I was living a whole, like this kind of, she redefined farm life and it, she makes it, it's not glamorous, but you know, she's like giving birth to lambs and things like that. We would never lease, would do that. And, um, later on, so it was very inspiring. So. I'm definitely into constant growth and evolution. And I think as long as you stay curious about yourself and others, life is never boring. You know what I mean? So it's not just this kid ad have to be honest with your ego. We all have it. We all have an ego. I have ego, you have an ego, we have it, you know, but ego is sometimes edging God out. Right. And. When I hear people who are like, Oh, I would never adopt, but I would, you know, wouldn't mind being a parent. It's always weird for me because, um, you know, they say like, Oh, I want something to look like me, you know, but really when that being comes soon as it comes into its own, it's not your property. It's not yours. Yeah at all in anymore, you know what I mean? And it's a kind of a controlling thing. So I also wanted to make sure that I was a place where I wasn't having a child because of what I'm going to get from the child, like the unconditional love. But now having the child is more about what can I give the child? Yeah. Much taking. And I think more people have kids out of control and. I want that unconditional love. I want that person to look up to me like I'm whatever the highest being.
Linda:You know, I love that you kind of touch upon this. That, that passion, like you know, um, tracing Khalisa story and I don't know why, but I just got this vision of like tapping into the universal mother, you know? And it's true. Like there are motherless children and there are childless women, and I'm not saying that they necessarily have to get paired together, but just. You know, whatever it takes to nurture... I mean, the earth needs nurturing, right. She's our original mother. And like, she, she needs our, you know, our love back to her for instance. Right. And how noble it is to give your time and attention to just something simple like that. So thanks for that reminder. What did you say about the ego? Um, I was leaving God out of it.
Nicole:Edging
Linda:edging God. Oh my God. That is such a juicy nugget.
Nicole:I think that's like an Oprah one. I get most of my juicy nuggets from my, um, aquarium Auntie and arms. Um, you know, one of the original woo woo Queens, but yeah, between her and, Louise hay and, uh, Eckhart. Totally. I like to keep like those reminders read and reread and read again. To keep that in check and have like, honor for yourself. Like, know what you're worth kind of like when you're negotiating for a salary, like you care about the number. You're not like, well, I don't want to go below this. Right. Oh, you're worth, I don't think that's ego, but I think it's about, Living in balance and being in a place of service, not servitude, but also of service. We all have something to give. And if I ever have a chance to give I do, you know, and it always comes back, you know, it's just like the ripple in the water. Like it just kind of goes around and around and around. And I think. If you're a legacy is not your child or your family, your legacy is the lives that you've touched. Yeah.
Linda:Yeah. Legacy is the lives we touch. I love that. Well, thank you for, for joining me today. I, I, I always love our talks. I always, um, I always leave just a little bit wiser than I,
Nicole:no, how? I don't know anything. No, I don't know how that happens, but I think that, you know, when you do like all of those little weird, like. Personality tests. It always says like inventor, philosopher, you know, also other Aquarius too. So I, I have a little bit of that in me, but, um, you know, somebody has got to get a, paid a dinner bill, you know? Right. So, you know, I keep it in balance, but you, you, likewise I keep me wise and keep me softer. You always help with my soft skills. Cause I tend to be like head over heart. So my heart. Is always a little bit more open from my experience with you. I'll say that. I love that
Linda:we're a good yin and yang. We have the, masculine and feminine structures complimentary. So I love that. So, um, yeah, Nicole Briggs, you have to wear something. Find her podcast, wherever podcasts can be found on Apple, give her a great review while you're at it. Um, any parting words for our audience, Nicole?
Nicole:Hey, man, be kind to yourself. Be compassionate with yourself and loosen your grip.
Linda:I love it. Thank you. I will talk to you soon. Here's the thing. Using your powers of creation to create all sorts of magical babies of your own, whether it be a business or hobbies or a book or a podcast or whatever kind of activity that gets you really excited. This is an amazing thing, but I just invite you to do a little pulse check and make sure that you're not so crammed with activities that you don't give yourself some quiet moments to really think about what is humming below the surface, any anxieties, unmet needs or desires, um, lingering questions. Nicole is an amazing entrepreneur and friend. And to me, a shining example of someone who is high conscious in her motherhood situation, which is to say that, you know, she is not as close to creating it as she would like. And she knows what she would have to work on. She's aware of it. And in the meantime is really just polishing her diamond. And so I invite you all to do the same. Polish your diamond, and tend to what needs tending to. Be gentle with yourself, love yourself as hard as you can. Until next time!